Have you heard of the BT (internet and phone broadband) slogan that’s used in their adverts, “it’s good to talk”? Well, there’s a reason for that. Before you tie the knot, be sure to communicate with your partner and really talk about the important things that will impact and change both of your lives.
As a married person, I now see the true value of communication. There are some subjects that I wish my partner and I would have discussed before getting married.
With hindsight being such a beautiful thing, I have decided to touch upon 15 things I think every couple should discuss before getting married. Each one holds its own significance and relevance within any marriage.
15 Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before Getting Married
Big Wedding or Small Wedding?
What type of wedding do you and your partner want? Are you thinking of a destination wedding, a church wedding, or a beach wedding? Will it be an intimate affair or larger-than-life extravaganza? What are your partner’s thoughts? Don’t forget to talk about the budget and try to stick to it. On a serious note, you should really have an in-depth talk with your partner about the type of wedding you’re both expecting. A lot of marriages start off rocky due to the pressures of the aftermath of a wedding.
Have you and your partner discussed children? If so, do you both want any? How many do you want? If it comes to it, who will be willing to give up their job and stay at home to raise them? Are you willing to compromise or meet in the middle?
If religion is an important part of life for you, then you need to bring this up at the beginning of your relationship. Do you only want to be with someone of the same religion? Will you be happy just to be with someone who has some type of faith? You need to discuss before getting married what approach of faith you both would like to take together. Do you want your children to grow up in the same faith or are you happy for them to decide for themselves when they are older?
When we first meet someone, everything is normally so exciting, and you feel really compatible sexually with your partner. Then life happens, you get married, have a few children, and then all of a sudden it feels like the fire has died down. Before you get to that point, have a serious talk with your partner about their sexual expectations. Can you meet their requirements? Are you as active as your partner is? Are you willing to try new things? What do you expect from them, and what do they expect from you? This is an integral part of any relationship? So much discussion needs to be focused around this subject, so don’t be shy!
Goals and Aspirations
Where do you see yourself in the future? Are your dreams similar to your partners or are you worlds apart? Discuss this before getting married. Trust me, you do not want any surprises.
Who’s best with money? Have you and your partner discussed which role each of you will play? Are you content with dealing with the running of your house or do you want it to be a partnership between you and your partner?
Joint Account or Separate Account?
What works best for you as a couple? Are you more comfortable keeping your money in your account or do you literally want to share all things and have a joint account?
Location, Location, Location
Where do you want to live? Have you discussed with your partner the perfect place you see yourself living in? Is it in line with their idea? Are you looking to relocate overseas, to a countryside, or stay in the city?
Buying or Renting
Couples should discuss if they want to buy or rent their house. I know some people just don’t want the hassle of a mortgage and being tied down, and some people appreciate the security and the ownership that comes with owning your own home. You need to definitely have a conversation about this. Once again, it will help minimize arguments later on down the line.
Who’s going to be doing the cooking most nights? Will you take it in turns or will one of you be the designated chef? Will the same apply to the cleaning of the house? Are you a traditional couple who thinks it’s the woman’s place to cook and clean? Are you a modern couple who will simply take it in turns and divide the house chores evenly?
Private School or State School?
If you do want children, have you and your partner discussed what type of education you want your children to receive? Are you into private school education, boarding school, or a state school? My partner and I butted heads on this subject. He grew up in private schools, and I grew up in state schools. Your personal experiences may favor this decision.
Once again, if you and your partner have decide to have children, do you want the child to have godparent(s)? Would you both agree on who the godparent(s) would be?
When you get married, you marry your partner’s family too. So a little consideration should go into how well you fit into the family. Do you get along with them? Can you see yourself as part of them? How well do you know your partner’s family? Do they accept you or do you feel like the odd one out? Be open with your partner about this subject matter. It has the potential to ruin or cause problems later.
Pets or No Pets?
Are you a animal lover, or would you rather not own a pet? What does your partner think about living with a pet? Which one of you is prepared to look after it, like walking the dog, cleaning out the kennel, etc. Who’s responsibility is it likely to be?
When you’re old and grey, where do you see your final resting place? Is there a country you would like to retire in? Are you thinking of a nursing home, home care, or something else all together? Make sure you talk about this even if it does sound a little morbid.
There truly is so much to discuss before getting married! What do you think are the easiest and hardest things to talk about before tying the knot?